In today’s culture, “tolerance” often means accepting all beliefs and behaviors as equally valid. The idea of calling something “wrong” has become almost taboo. Judging others is now seen as the worst possible offense.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus addresses this issue with surprising clarity. In Matthew 7, He gives us two powerful instructions: (1) Don’t judge; (2) Don’t subject yourself to abuse. Let’s unpack both.
The Truth About Judging
“Do not judge” is one of the most quoted—and misunderstood—phrases in the Bible. Many assume it means we should never make any moral assessments, but that’s not what Jesus is saying. Some things are wrong, some things are right, and we should have the discernment to know the difference.
In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul says we should “test everything.” In 2 Corinthians 11, he warns that some people pretend to be righteous who are anything but. So yes, Christians are called to evaluate right from wrong.
What Jesus warns against is habitual faultfinding—the kind of judgment that flows from a critical, self-righteous heart. It is what I refer to as the practice of condemnation. Jesus is talking about people who constantly pick others apart, assume the worst of their intentions, and show no grace in the face of their mistakes. This is the principle set forth by Jesus when He says, “Do not judge.”
Jesus invites us to shift our focus. Instead of magnifying someone else’s flaws, He says, look in the mirror. You’ve got a plank in your eye while pointing out the speck in someone else’s. That doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye; it simply means we’re called to be generous and gracious.
Jesus also warns: if you judge others with a harsh spirit, expect to be judged the same way. Why? Because judging assumes God’s role—it claims the competence and authority to set forth a ruling on another person. God doesn’t take kindly to someone trying to sit in His seat. In other words, God will judge you based on whether you measure up to the standard required for judging, which means being God yourself. Anyone up for that test?
So, how do we stop being judgmental? Especially when faultfinding makes people feel so good about themselves (let’s face it, that’s why people do it). You start by looking at your own life. Own your mess. Learn to lead with grace. Be kind even when you disagree. That’s what Jesus models for us.
Don’t Enable Relational Abuse
The second big “do not” sounds a bit harsh at first: “Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet and then turn and tear you to pieces” (Matthew 7:6).
Jesus isn’t being cruel here—He’s being honest. Some relationships are toxic. Part of living wisely means recognizing when to walk away. In other words, sometimes we have permission to separate ourselves from people, especially those who are intentionally out to cause us harm.
Throughout the Gospels, Jesus uses strong imagery. He called Herod a “fox” and the Pharisees a “brood of vipers.” Here, He compares certain types of people to animals—”dogs” and “pigs” to be exact. He uses these descriptions for those who trample on truth and treat sacred things with contempt.
Jesus is referring to people who have given themselves over to particular attitudes, spirits, and dispositions to such a degree that you should feel released from trying to reach them or continue in a relationship with them. This isn’t about withholding love. It’s about recognizing when grace is being abused and setting boundaries with people who are destructive and manipulative.
Grace isn’t a doormat. If someone shows persistent contempt for the things of God, Jesus says we’re not obligated to keep casting our pearls before them. We can separate without hate. We can release people without resentment. And that’s not just okay—it’s biblical.
Work For Resolution When Possible
Let’s be real: what Jesus teaches here isn’t easy. It’s hard to extend grace when someone hurts us. It’s hard to stay engaged when relationships get uncomfortable. We live in a world where it’s easy to walk away. Switch jobs. Move neighborhoods. Leave a church. End a marriage. Relationships have become portable and disposable. We tend to love in general, not in particular.
Jesus invites us into something deeper—not just a generic love for humanity, but a personal, persistent, sacrificial love for real people. People who disappoint us. People who challenge us. People who aren’t like us. That said, there are exceptions.
In all my years as a pastor, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve had to step away from a relationship. The goal is always reconciliation. Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” We are called to do our part—and sometimes, that includes knowing when to let go.
In the end, Christ calls us to a higher standard: one that balances truth with grace, discernment with compassion, and confrontation with humility. It’s not easy—but it is the way of Jesus.
Brian L Powell 