Generaion Gap

People like to put us down… Talkin’ bout my generation!  The WHO began screaming those words in 1965 as young people were trying to find their place in society.  Every generation since has continued the quest to find their footing.  These lyrics resonated with the Baby Boomer generation.  Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964) are people who are characterized as being questioners of authority, eager to put their own stamp on institutions, and extremely optimistic.  They were the first generation to be shaped by sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll.

The Baby Boomers protested against a nation governed by Traditionalists, who were seen as “The Man” of their day.  The Traditionalists (born prior to 1946) were the people in authority, they were the voice of the country in a time before social media and the internet enabled anyone to speak to a broad audience.  Traditionalists survived the Great Depression and World War II.  They are characterized as being patriotic, loyal, fiscally conservative, and faithful to institutions.

Then came my cohort: Generation X (born 1965-1981).  Gen-Xers grew up on Sesame Street, MTV, and punk rock.  Our parents got divorced at high rates, we dealt with AIDS, crack cocaine, and pictures of missing children on milk cartons.  Gen-Xers are described as being eclectic, resourceful, skeptical of institutions, highly adaptive, independent, and willing to throw rules out the window.

Next, allow me to introduce you to the Millennials (born 1982-2004).  The new generation is maybe the most intelligent.  They are globally concerned, cyber-literate, media savvy, environmentally conscious, collaborative, and very adaptive.  They’ve grown up with terrorism, technology, violence, drugs and gangs.  They’ve coped with Columbine, 911, and Hurricane Katrina.  If you have a meaningful conversation with a Millennial and you tend to see things through a lens of black and white you’ll be thinking gray by the end of the exchange.

My father is a Boomer, my son is a Millennial, and I am an Xer.  My father and I have a great relationship today, but growing up and even far into my adult years we didn’t see eye-to-eye on very much.  I was a rebellious teenager who railed against his rules.  I thought they were arbitrary and ridiculous.  My son and I, although we’ve had our moments, have been and continue to be very good friends.  The difference is that my son is conversationalist and my dad is an authoritarian.  The way they are stems from the generation in which they were taught to think and be.

In ministry I often find myself acting as a bridge between Millennials and Boomers/Traditionalists.  Boomers and Traditionalists are often territorial.  They’ve paid a debt and feel like they deserve to be “in charge.”  What they don’t often realize is that Millennials and Gen-Xers aren’t looking to take over, they just want their voice to be heard (especially Millennials).  Boomers that expect Millennials to “get in line and follow orders” are going to be disappointed with the results of their relationships.

Over the past year my denomination, the Church of the Nazarene, has dealt with her fair share of problems.  In my humble opinion what we are dealing with has a direct link to generational gaps and leadership styles.  However, because of social media, what was once easy to sweep under the rug and forget about can now be discussed openly among those affected.

Personally, I found myself very troubled over the issues at Nazarene Publishing House (NPH), where it seemed that someone intentionally profited from the church’s loss.  I think that affected me because I’m an Xer who recognized personal gain at the expense of the church.  In the mind of a Gen-Xer the institution can exist, but when it takes advantage of the grassroots it’s time to storm the gates.  However, I’ve noticed that the Millennials are speaking out more over events at MNU and NNU (two of our universities) because of what seems to be unfair downgrading that has negatively affected two professors who are well-loved and admired.

With these scenarios I find myself, once again, trying to bridge a gap in the discussion.  I’ve ask God to check my spirit as I engage these conversations because I genuinely desire to help.  I have been mentored by Boomers.  I have faith in them and I want to be loyal.  I love Millennials.  I believe they are asking the right questions.  I also believe they are revolutionizing the way we minister to a broken world.  In examining characteristics of the different generations we clearly identify areas of disconnect: (1) Boomers want to put their stamp on institutions; (2) Gen-Xers are skeptical of institutions; (3) Millennials critique institutions.

As a Gen-Xer I didn’t agree with my Boomer father growing up.  In fact, I kicked against his rules.  As God has led us both through the years we’ve come to a place where our hearts are softer.  We still don’t completely understand each other’s perspectives, but we love each other nonetheless (I love you dad).  And that’s the point: I pray the world would recognize us by our love, not our differences.

Through the questions, conflicts, and generational gaps… I pray that love will prevail and that we will emerge stronger than ever because we wrestled with the difficult inquiries and walked out of the pit with our arms around each other.  May the Spirit of Christ overcome… And may an everlasting love for one another be the theme that bridges the gap between our generations for generations to come.


ConfidentialityTransparency is essential for effective leadership.  It is also a necessary attribute of holiness. As a pastor, over the years I’ve chosen to be very transparent with staff and ministry leaders, and many times probably too transparent from the pulpit (I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve). However, there have also been times where confidentiality was the best policy.

The unpleasant reality is that I’ve had to part ways with staff who didn’t share the same vision as the rest of the team. I’ve also had to dismiss pastors and ministry leaders who were working against the church’s mission. Every time this happened I received criticism for those decisions. Yet, regardless of the criticism, I didn’t give public notification pertaining to the details. It was always something the church board and myself handled confidentially. That’s what we were called to do… lead. In these cases, confidentiality was the best policy.

Regarding the recent issues with Nazarene Publishing House (NPH), a situation where personal profit seemed to lead the demise of an important ministry, I think we need a lot of transparency and critique. However, in my opinion, that’s different than issues regarding some of our university professors. Our universities, like our churches, share a vision of equipping people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up (Eph. 4:12). This vision can only be successful when there is unity.

I’ve read numerous comments relating to Dr. Thomas Oord’s dismissal from Northwest Nazarene University (NNU). Let me start by saying I love Oord’s work. I have been challenged to think more deeply about important theological issues because of him. I think he is a brilliant theologian and there is no doubt that Tom is going to land on his feet. However, I don’t feel like the masses of spectators are in a place to judge the relationship that exists between professors and the university leadership as a whole.

I also believe the Board of Trustees love NNU and want to see the university thrive. Legally, the board cannot make a press statement about all the details pertaining to directional disagreements between university leadership and faculty. Certainly, we all know that. Obviously, different ideas about direction often lead to a place where it is not beneficial for people to continue together. That doesn’t make either wrong, it just makes them different in their vision and approach to ministry.

My experience with our universities primarily relates to Dr. Dan Boone at Trevecca Nazarene University (TNU). Dan pastored for years before being called to the position of university president. I think it’s fair to say that TNU sees Dan not only as a visionary leader but also as a shepherd. He has the heart of a pastor. And theoretically, if he parted ways with a professor, even one that I loved and admired, I wouldn’t question his vision or integrity for doing so. Dan is very transparent about his vision and leadership strategies, yet when it comes to legal issues confidentiality protects everyone involved.

I understand that the university and local church context are not exactly the same thing. However, the parallels, when it comes to vision, team-work, and kingdom advancement, are extremely similar… or at least they should be.

Scenario: Let’s say I have a staff pastor who is loved by many in the church and community. We’ve worked well together for years. He begins leading in ways that I believe are contrary to the overall direction of the church. Not only are his ideas and actions opposing to mine, but they are actually working against the direction of the leadership team. I have numerous discussions with him about teamwork and joining us as it relates to the vision of the church. Still, he refuses to listen.

Now our relationship is tense. It’s hard to even be in the same room. I still have a deep love for this person, but a time has come where we have to part ways. I inform him that we have to part ways. I give him a fair severance package. I tell the congregation. Some are angry at the situation, I get criticized. They demand answers. I refuse to explain “why” my friend and I can’t continue to work together because I believe that would make things worse. I want to allow him to leave and go serve in a place where his philosophy of ministry would be a good fit. So I take the criticism and refuse to say anything bad about my brother in Christ (by the way, I’ve had scenarios that are very close to this and I’m still great friends with some of those people).

Dr. Thomas Oord is a theological visionary. No doubt he is a courageous thinker. I believe we need trailblazers that push the limits of the institution. However, I also believe we need unity, and when that becomes absent sometimes people have to go their separate ways. Similar issues have been dealt with by church leaders throughout scripture.

Transparency is the only policy for the misuse of power and financial incompetence, especially when there seems to be personal gain and monetary conflicts of interest (e.g. million dollar lease agreements and “gifts”). However, confidentiality is best when leaders disagree on direction and there are legal issues that call for discretion so that no one’s reputation is slandered in the process. Transparency and confidentiality, we need both.

NPH and NNU is an apples and oranges comparison. It’s unfair to compare the two. With NPH, we should demand complete transparency. With NNU, I believe the board of trustees bears the responsibility to make decisions based on what they believe to be best for the future. And I don’t feel like I have the right to know why all those decisions are made.

Let’s stop speaking from emotion and painting the entire church with broad strokes. For the sake of balance and grace, we need to think beyond the noise created by social media. Sometimes we get so busy pointing fingers that we fail to proceed with grace ourselves. As Dr. Thomas Oord would appropriately say, let us choose to… live a life of love.